advent: why is Jesus crying?

During Advent our community is asking the question, “Why is the return of Christ a good reason for hope?”  

And to answer that big question, we need to consider another question, a really basic question from the story of the death of Lazarus (John 11) in which John writes, "Jesus wept."  

The question is, "Why is Jesus crying?"

There are 2 reasons that are given in the story:

1. Jesus is crying because he loved Lazarus.  They were friends.  Jesus would spend time at Lazarus’ home.  Lazarus is never mentioned in any of the stories of Jesus’ ministry.  He’s not one of the 12 disciples.  He’s just a friend.  He’s a good friend.  When Mary writes the note and sends it with a messenger to Jesus, the note she writes says simply, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”  Jesus is crying because his good friend has suffered and died. 

2. Jesus is crying because he could have done something about it.  This is the first thing out of the mouth of each of Lazarus’ sisters: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  And this is the commentary, the general opinion of those who have been welcomed into the inner circle of Lazarus’ family during the early days of grieving: “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Couldn’t Jesus have done something about this? 

What’s so challenging about this story is what’s so challenging about the storms of life:

(We ask) God, didn’t you know this was going to happen?

(And the story says) Yes, he knew it was going to happen…  – and yet he weeps

(And so we wonder) What will happen next?

(But the story says) he knew what was going to happen next (he was going to bring Lazarus back to life – everything’s going to be OK) – and yet he weeps. 

Why is Jesus crying?

I’d suggest that Jesus is crying because even though he has a plan to restore all things, and even though that plan has already begun, the time for that plan to reach completion is still a long way off. 

And between now and then there will be lots of storms and they will be pitiless. 

Sisters will crumble to their knees in grief.

Friends invited into the inner circle of the tragedy will protest: Why didn’t Jesus do something?

Jesus cries because the storms will continue to rage.

Yes, Lazarus walks out of the grave and many people believe, but in 5 years or 10 or 20 Lazarus will get sick again.  Death will visit this house again. 

Jesus is crying in this story because this was the time to inaugurate the kingdom, this was the time to reveal the kingdom, but this was not the time to consummate the kingdom, this was not the time to bring to completion the plan of restoration. 

The resurrection of Lazarus was a miracle that signaled what was to come.  In truth it was a very small battle - it revealed who the true Victor was, and who the true Victor was going to be.  Within months Jesus would be killed and would rise again, winning the decisive battle over death.  But, like D Day, even though the decisive battle was one, the war would rage on for a long time afterwards. 

And I think Jesus wept because he saw his dear friends weeping and he saw their friends weeping and devastated and hopeless and he knew there’s going to be a lot of pain and a lot of loss and a lot of storms before this story is done…between the time when the game is won and the game is over. 

Jesus is crying because he knows the enemy will be defeated in the resurrection, but he also knows the enemy will not soon be destroyed.

That’s why Jesus is crying.

[check back for part two to this post: If Jesus is crying, why are Christians hopeful?]

practical prayer

Prayer can be difficult.

This little book is meant to help. 

 

It’s short because it’s a starter, a catalyst, a first peek into a castle that takes a lifetime to explore. 

                                    
The words in this book are just a sampling of some of the prayers that have guided the devotion of millions of people for thousands of years. 

There is much more where this came from.

It’s small because we hope you’ll carry it with you as a practical tool to establish a new habit or to deepen an old habit of communicating with God all throughout the day.

You really can learn to pray.

You really can become a person of prayer.

Working on my next teaching on the "secret wisdom" of God.  Discovered this great quote from Augustine:

But if Christ had not been put to death, death would not have died.  The devil was overcome by his own trophy, for the devil rejoiced when, by seducing the first man, he cast him into death.  By seducing the first man, he killed him.  By killing the last man, he lost the first from his snare.

Three Questions Toward the Rebuilding of Trust

How can trust be rebuilt even through failure?

Perhaps its a matter of asking the right questions.

A BIBLICAL QUESTION: 

More important than the question,

                  "Can Peter be trusted?" is the question,

                  "Can Jesus be trusted?" 

Jesus chose Peter.  But can Peter be trusted?  

No. 

He said, “I’ll never leave you.  I’ll die for you.  Even if everyone else bails, I’ll stay.” 

But then he got scared and he broke trust. 

And yet the relationship between Jesus and Peter, ultimately grows.

It's not because Peter can be trusted.

It's because Jesus can. 

                 

A PERSONAL QUESTION: 

More important than the question,

         "Can you trust your child?" is the question,

         "Can your child trust you?"* 

In other words, the way relationships between kids and parents gets stronger – even through failure – is by the parent showing that they are trustworthy even when the kid fails. 

AN ULTIMATE QUESTION:

         And an even more important question is this:

                 "Can we trust God?"

So the ultimate question isn’t about Peter or my kids or me or anyone else.

It’s not about our trustworthiness.  It's really about God's. 

         Healthy attachment can grow – even through failure –

                  whenever the invitation exists to

                           root the relationship in the

                                    greater strength of Another.  

When my relationship with you isn't ultimately about me or you, but instead is rooted in God, then there is always hope - even hope for the rebuilding of trust.  Because ultimately, our relationship isn't about my trustworthiness or yours.  It's about God's.  And as we both look to Him for wholeness, our own brokenness can be overcome.  

*Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, Joiner and Nieuhoff

Love is Stronger

There's another shift that needs to take place if we're going to pass-on the faith to the next generation:

We must truly believe that love is stronger than fear.

I think this is always true.

But it is especially true in terms of Biblical character development. In the Christian story, love is the starting point, not fear of punishment.

Some of us would probably say that our faith development was very much motivated by a fear of punishment – as in eternal punishment.   And I realize some fearful threats exist in scripture, that there are Biblical stories of God punishing people, and that fear works as a motivator on a lot of levels. 

But I'd respond to any proponent of a model rooted in fear with this:

First, fear might work, but true love works better.  Love is an even better motivator than fear.  Its literally better (as in more good).  And it lasts longer.

Fear of punishment might motivate me to keep the rules, to drive the speed limit, at least until the cop drives by.  Once the threat of punishment is removed usually the motivation to keep the rules is gone too.  Unless the motivation is something stronger than fear.  Fear of punishment can motivate a person to keep the rules.  But is that what the Christian faith is about?  Keeping the rules?  No. 

And second, God wants us to be motivated by love.  This whole story is based on God wanting a real, authentic, love relationship with people.  


Love is stronger than fear.

I need to believe that when I pray.
I need to believe that when I parent.

intuition beats intellection

If we are to have a fighting chance in the struggle of passing-on the faith to the next generation, we need to shift our beliefs about how true formation happens.

We need to believe and embrace that intuition beats intellection. When it comes to religious formation:
meaning our character,
                  our ethics,
                  our beliefs,
                  the things that ultimately form the way we live,        
Intuitive Development matters
far more than intellectual development.
 In other words, you can be taught intellectually,
through formal educational methods:
         lecture, books, etc.,
                  that most snakes are perfectly harmless.
 
But if you intuitively feel uneasy around snakes –
even little ones with little mouths –
         then what you believe intuitively
                  will beat out what you’ve been taught intellectually.

Or you could hear from a teacher at church that
you should love people because Jesus loved people –
you might hear a story about Jesus loving people,
you might do a craft and
         make a heart and
         write a Bible verse on it “God so loved the world” and
         give it to your mom for the refrigerator door…
          but if what you experience in much of real life
                  is that loving people is risky,
                  if you don’t sense that those in your home
                           treat one another lovingly,
                  if you, intuitively, know that you’re not really
                           loved by those around you,
 what is happening intuitivelybeats out what is happening intellectually.  


Every time.  


John Westerhoff III writes this in his book Will Our Children Have Faith? "…I learned that there are two ways to think and know,
the intellectual and the intuitive. And it is the intuitive,
the pre-rational… that is foundational to religious life."
  
We could say it this way:
all of life educates (not just “formal” education).

So here's my question:
What did you teach your child today when you weren't even trying to teach them?  

Laugh at the Destroyer

"Israel ate the meat of a dumb lamb to complete the Passover.  Having done so, they smeared their doorposts with blood and laughed at the destroyer."  - Athanasius 4th Century

Amidst the pain
Of suffering
Of deceit
Of injustice
Of sorrow

I Stand
Behind the Blood

And proclaim:
"You can kill my body but you cannot have my soul.
I am purchased by the Redeemer who Rose Again.
And when sin's tantrum is finally exhausted I will stand with my King,
Fully alive.

Capacity for the Holy

Why are Christians failing to pass-on the Faith even to our own children?

The value of one generation sharing the story of God with the next is one of the highest in scripture.  But we don’t do this well. 

I think one of the reasons we often strike out here is that we fail to appreciate our children’s capacity for spiritual insight.   We dumb down spiritual mystery so dramatically that our stories lose their capacity to captivate. 

Of course kids are bored with the peas-and-carrots gospel we’ve spoon-fed them from cute, 4-ounce jars. 

They can handle so much more than this.  In fact, they’re starving for more.

Recently my 11-year-old daughter composed this poem.   Reading it was a wake-up call for this dad to hear the longing and recognize the capacity for the holy in children. 

Words

Words

So powerful

So strong

Set me free

To just be me

I stare at the

Blank Page

With determination

Wanting to prove

It wrong

Words flood

The page

The Emptiness

Is gone

I can tell the page

Tell God,

What I want

With no one to hold me back

Words 

Too Many Needs to Not Help

Sunday I asked our community why, even though we believe in living a life of compassion, we seldom actually engage in helping others in practical ways. 

And the one reason on which I focused was the misunderstanding that in order to help others, you, yourself, need to be all healed up. 

While I think that specific misunderstanding is common, it’s not the reason that most-often holds me back.  No, what usually keeps me from helping my neighbor is the nearly exhausting list of needs represented in my own home. 

I got lost in this daydream a few days ago: I was living in the country and my job was to care for my family.  Just my wife and three kids.  

In the daydream, this little community of 5 feels very manageable.  But then I  remember days and months and years when the needs within my own family were overwhelming. 

And then I start thinking of parents, siblings, nephews, nieces, and, of course, in-laws.  And, for me, this is a group of well-over 100 people.  That’s a whole lot of needs.  

Then, at least for me, there’s the church.  Several dozen families just like mine: full of needs. 

On one hand I think, “This is too much need.  I don’t have room for any more.  I can’t help.”

On the other hand I think, “That’s also a whole lot of support.  More than most will ever know.  How can I not help?”

Help while you're hurting. Heal while you're helping.

Last Sunday I asked our community why compassion so often slips off our priority lists. 

It’s an interesting question, especially to a church community like ours, because there’s already such a deep level of buy-in on helping others.  We already believe we should serve this city.  We already want to change the world. 

But, even we – who are already convinced – rarely do anything.

Why is that? 

The reason I focused on Sunday is the misunderstanding that we need to first reach a point of health before helping others.  While in extreme cases this is true, most of us should instead help others while we, ourselves are in the process of healing. 

Waiting to get healed before working to help others is stupid.  People who consistently help others know this.  It’s because you’re never fully healed.  You’re always hurting somewhere.   You’re never at 100%.  There simply aren’t people who have it all together.

If you’re waiting to help because you’re not fully healed, please stop waiting.  Help while you’re hurting.  You’ll be healed as you help others. 

[tomorrow: another reason we rarely serve others: we have enough to take care of in our own homes! ]

The Weak Have Nothing to Run From

I'm inspired and challenged by these words from chapter 64 of The Rule of St. Benedict: The Election of an Abbot:

"Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria for choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank...

Once in office, the abbot must keep constantly in mind the nature of the burden he has received, and remember to whom he will have to give an account of his stewardship (Luke 16:2).  Let him recognize that his goal must be profit for the monks, not preeminence for himself.  He ought, therefore, to be learned in divine law, so that he has a treasury of knowledge from which he can bring out what is new and old (Matt. 13:52).  He must be chaste, temperate and merciful.  He should always let mercy triumph over judgment (James 2:13) so that he too may win mercy.  He must hate faults but love the brothers.  When he must punish them, he should use prudence and avoid extremes...

Let him strive to be loved rather than feared.

Excitable, anxious, extreme, obstinate, jealous or oversuspicious he must not be.  Such a man is never at rest.  Instead, he must show forethought and consideration in his orders, and whether the task he assigns concerns God of the world, he should be discerning and moderate...drawing on... discretion, the mother of virtues, he must so arrange everything that the strong have something to yearn for and the weak nothing to run from."

The Silent Seduction of the Suburbs

Sometimes I can feel the deadening, the hardening, the glazing of the eyes...

It's not a seduction of passion.  There's no rush, no thrill.  

Just predictable stability.  Just the normal routine.

It can kill the soul.  It can blunt the once raw edge of the spirit.    

This is the silent seduction of the suburbs.  But it can happen anywhere, because it happens within.  Slowly, without detection, the oxygen is turned down, the morphine is turned up, and we exist in a mild state of mediocrity.

And, in time, our “Christianity” is nothing more than a “positive alternative”, 

                     our prayers never reach beyond “keep us safe”,

                            and our ethic is reduced to “being nice.” 

              Dulled into lifelessness. 

It's common, but it's counterfeit.  

  

Don’t spend your life on a spiritual couch holding a spiritual remote.  

Today is a journey.  It could be epic.


(What's keeping you from really living it?)

Common Grace

What is it that turns a simple meal from something that fills a stomach to something that fills a soul?  

Why is it that sometimes after I eat, I feel like I can exist another few hours, and other times, after I eat, I feel like I can change the world?  

What’s the variable that changes a meal from something that makes me feel full to something that makes me feel loved? 

I think it’s community.  It’s relationships.  It’s others. 

You and I share the same basic need: we need calories.  You and I share the same basic solution: food.

I think this is fascinating: you and I can individually address our same needs with the same solutions and have one kind of experience. 

Or we can collectively address our same needs with the same solutions together and have a completely different kind of experience. 

You can say, man I’m hungry.  I’m gonna eat a burger. 

And I can say, man I’m hungry.  I’m gonna eat a burger. 

And we can go to different burger joints and in 30 minutes we’ll both be full.

Or you can say, man I’m hungry.  And I can say, man I’m hungry.  And we can say, Let’s go get burgers together.  And in 30 minutes something more than just the taking-in of fuel has happened.  Community has happened. 

And because of community we’ve at least opened up the opportunity for something more:

Instead of just existing, we’ve had a chance to make a difference.

Instead of feeling full, perhaps now we feel loved.

Instead of just feeding our stomachs, maybe we’ve also fed our souls.

The Bible is just full of food.  But it’s not really about the food. 

I suggest it’s about Christian community: people of different races, different backgrounds, different experiences, all gathering together with a common condition, with a common need, a common hunger, a common longing… all coming to the same place hoping to be filled – not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, holistically: body, mind, soul. 

Here’s the point:

People gather as a Christian community for something none of us can get by ourselves.  We come together for something we can only get from another.  We gather for grace.