Too Many Needs to Not Help

Sunday I asked our community why, even though we believe in living a life of compassion, we seldom actually engage in helping others in practical ways. 

And the one reason on which I focused was the misunderstanding that in order to help others, you, yourself, need to be all healed up. 

While I think that specific misunderstanding is common, it’s not the reason that most-often holds me back.  No, what usually keeps me from helping my neighbor is the nearly exhausting list of needs represented in my own home. 

I got lost in this daydream a few days ago: I was living in the country and my job was to care for my family.  Just my wife and three kids.  

In the daydream, this little community of 5 feels very manageable.  But then I  remember days and months and years when the needs within my own family were overwhelming. 

And then I start thinking of parents, siblings, nephews, nieces, and, of course, in-laws.  And, for me, this is a group of well-over 100 people.  That’s a whole lot of needs.  

Then, at least for me, there’s the church.  Several dozen families just like mine: full of needs. 

On one hand I think, “This is too much need.  I don’t have room for any more.  I can’t help.”

On the other hand I think, “That’s also a whole lot of support.  More than most will ever know.  How can I not help?”

Help while you're hurting. Heal while you're helping.

Last Sunday I asked our community why compassion so often slips off our priority lists. 

It’s an interesting question, especially to a church community like ours, because there’s already such a deep level of buy-in on helping others.  We already believe we should serve this city.  We already want to change the world. 

But, even we – who are already convinced – rarely do anything.

Why is that? 

The reason I focused on Sunday is the misunderstanding that we need to first reach a point of health before helping others.  While in extreme cases this is true, most of us should instead help others while we, ourselves are in the process of healing. 

Waiting to get healed before working to help others is stupid.  People who consistently help others know this.  It’s because you’re never fully healed.  You’re always hurting somewhere.   You’re never at 100%.  There simply aren’t people who have it all together.

If you’re waiting to help because you’re not fully healed, please stop waiting.  Help while you’re hurting.  You’ll be healed as you help others. 

[tomorrow: another reason we rarely serve others: we have enough to take care of in our own homes! ]

The Weak Have Nothing to Run From

I'm inspired and challenged by these words from chapter 64 of The Rule of St. Benedict: The Election of an Abbot:

"Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching must be the criteria for choosing the one to be made abbot, even if he is the last in community rank...

Once in office, the abbot must keep constantly in mind the nature of the burden he has received, and remember to whom he will have to give an account of his stewardship (Luke 16:2).  Let him recognize that his goal must be profit for the monks, not preeminence for himself.  He ought, therefore, to be learned in divine law, so that he has a treasury of knowledge from which he can bring out what is new and old (Matt. 13:52).  He must be chaste, temperate and merciful.  He should always let mercy triumph over judgment (James 2:13) so that he too may win mercy.  He must hate faults but love the brothers.  When he must punish them, he should use prudence and avoid extremes...

Let him strive to be loved rather than feared.

Excitable, anxious, extreme, obstinate, jealous or oversuspicious he must not be.  Such a man is never at rest.  Instead, he must show forethought and consideration in his orders, and whether the task he assigns concerns God of the world, he should be discerning and moderate...drawing on... discretion, the mother of virtues, he must so arrange everything that the strong have something to yearn for and the weak nothing to run from."

The Silent Seduction of the Suburbs

Sometimes I can feel the deadening, the hardening, the glazing of the eyes...

It's not a seduction of passion.  There's no rush, no thrill.  

Just predictable stability.  Just the normal routine.

It can kill the soul.  It can blunt the once raw edge of the spirit.    

This is the silent seduction of the suburbs.  But it can happen anywhere, because it happens within.  Slowly, with detection, the oxygen is turned down, the morphine is turned up, and we exist in a mild state of mediocrity.

And, in time, our “Christianity” is nothing more than a “positive alternative”, 

                     our prayers never reach beyond “keep us safe”,

                            and our ethic is reduced to “being nice.” 

              Dulled into lifelessness. 

It's common, but it's counterfeit.  

  

Don’t spend your life on a spiritual couch holding a spiritual remote.  

Today is a journey.  It could be epic.


(What's keeping you from really living it?)

Common Grace

What is it that turns a simple meal from something that fills a stomach to something that fills a soul?  

Why is it that sometimes after I eat, I feel like I can exist another few hours, and other times, after I eat, I feel like I can change the world?  

What’s the variable that changes a meal from something that makes me feel full to something that makes me feel loved? 

I think it’s community.  It’s relationships.  It’s others. 

You and I share the same basic need: we need calories.  You and I share the same basic solution: food.

I think this is fascinating: you and I can individually address our same needs with the same solutions and have one kind of experience. 

Or we can collectively address our same needs with the same solutions together and have a completely different kind of experience. 

You can say, man I’m hungry.  I’m gonna eat a burger. 

And I can say, man I’m hungry.  I’m gonna eat a burger. 

And we can go to different burger joints and in 30 minutes we’ll both be full.

Or you can say, man I’m hungry.  And I can say, man I’m hungry.  And we can say, Let’s go get burgers together.  And in 30 minutes something more than just the taking-in of fuel has happened.  Community has happened. 

And because of community we’ve at least opened up the opportunity for something more:

Instead of just existing, we’ve had a chance to make a difference.

Instead of feeling full, perhaps now we feel loved.

Instead of just feeding our stomachs, maybe we’ve also fed our souls.

The Bible is just full of food.  But it’s not really about the food. 

I suggest it’s about Christian community: people of different races, different backgrounds, different experiences, all gathering together with a common condition, with a common need, a common hunger, a common longing… all coming to the same place hoping to be filled – not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, holistically: body, mind, soul. 

Here’s the point:

People gather as a Christian community for something none of us can get by ourselves.  We come together for something we can only get from another.  We gather for grace.  

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Friends!

We're so grateful for this year.  The highlight was the gift of a summer sabbatical.  Over the three month break, we spent time at HoneyRock in Wisconsin, drove and camped across the country, and slowed way, way down on the beach in Nicaragua.  

We'd love to share some pictures with you. 

June at HoneyRock: sabbatical thoughts :: june

July Road Trip: sabbatical :: july

Augusto en Nicaragua:  sabbatical :: august

Sienna is growing up, devours books, plays soccer, and has a pet rabbit named Trufflehunter.

Isaiah is strong, has been off chemo for over a year, and is gearing up for baseball.

Matthias is learning new words every day and occasionally pauses from his passionate pursuit of large-scale demolition.

May the grace of God and the hope of Resurrection fill your hearts and homes in 2012.

Love, Nathan & Carmen 

 

At La Vida Education in San Juan de Oriente, Nicaragua

More Than a Little Disturbed

Magi from the east declare, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?  We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

"When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him."  (Matthew 2)

Why was Jerusalem disturbed?  What had they to lose?

Herod feared for his throne.  But the people?  Why weren't they celebrating the arrival of the Deliverer long-awaited, the Savior promised by prophets?  Why were they troubled?

Because they had grown comfortable.  And they feared the disturbance of their comfort.

John Chrysostom (4th Century) wrote this:
Although troubled, they nevertheless did not try to understand what was happening.  They did not follow the wise men or even take any particular notice.  To this extent were they both contentious and careless.


Contentious and careless.

They chose annoyance over adoration.  Disdain over devotion.

Don't disrupt the status quo, Jesus.  We like it as it is.  We prefer bondage to a police state which tells us what to think/buy/feel.  Don't mess with our comfort, Jesus.

Worship is too high a price to pay for freedom.