Three Questions Toward the Rebuilding of Trust

How can trust be rebuilt even through failure?

Perhaps its a matter of asking the right questions.

A BIBLICAL QUESTION: 

More important than the question,

                  "Can Peter be trusted?" is the question,

                  "Can Jesus be trusted?" 

Jesus chose Peter.  But can Peter be trusted?  

No. 

He said, “I’ll never leave you.  I’ll die for you.  Even if everyone else bails, I’ll stay.” 

But then he got scared and he broke trust. 

And yet the relationship between Jesus and Peter, ultimately grows.

It's not because Peter can be trusted.

It's because Jesus can. 

                 

A PERSONAL QUESTION: 

More important than the question,

         "Can you trust your child?" is the question,

         "Can your child trust you?"* 

In other words, the way relationships between kids and parents gets stronger – even through failure – is by the parent showing that they are trustworthy even when the kid fails. 

AN ULTIMATE QUESTION:

         And an even more important question is this:

                 "Can we trust God?"

So the ultimate question isn’t about Peter or my kids or me or anyone else.

It’s not about our trustworthiness.  It's really about God's. 

         Healthy attachment can grow – even through failure –

                  whenever the invitation exists to

                           root the relationship in the

                                    greater strength of Another.  

When my relationship with you isn't ultimately about me or you, but instead is rooted in God, then there is always hope - even hope for the rebuilding of trust.  Because ultimately, our relationship isn't about my trustworthiness or yours.  It's about God's.  And as we both look to Him for wholeness, our own brokenness can be overcome.  

*Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, Joiner and Nieuhoff